Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
