So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
