He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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