Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
how drunk are you?
Several
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
