I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
