no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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