I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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