TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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