addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
