So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
