I wish my penis had an off switch
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
