Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
