There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
