If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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