she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
