the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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