I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
