wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
