i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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