Buhtt sex?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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