I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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