Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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