maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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