the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
When are your genitals available?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
