whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
