Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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