R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
