I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
