You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
