Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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