So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
