Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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