I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
