The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
