i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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