not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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