Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
