ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
