Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
