Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
