Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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