im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
