she was so not down for the gang bang
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
