you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
