Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
