yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
