If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We left the knife in your bed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
