I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
