How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
