bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
